Maybe. Saved as draft on 4/22/2012

Maybe it needed to happen. Maybe we needed to end things. Maybe I miss you. Maybe I think about you every day. Maybe I want to be in your arms again. Maybe I want to kiss you. Maybe my heart aches whenever I’m not around you. Maybe I’m dying without you. Maybe I love you. Or maybe.. I’m nothing without you. I’m so lost and confused. Maybe I need you. I do need you. Now. I need your touch, your taste.. you. I need everything about you. I don’t know where to go without you. I’m so lost.. Please, help me find my way. I’ve done nothing but plead for help but none has come. Has no one seen my SOS? Is my lighthouse burnt out? I’m doing my best to go on with my life, but without you.. it’s pointless. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.. We’re supposed to be together. We’re supposed to be talking. We’re supposed to be happy. Are you happy? Are you in a good mood or have a good attitude about things?? All I ever do is worry about you.. I just want to know how you are, baby. Please let me know how you are. I’m scared for you. I don’t want you to be bitter about things. I don’t think you are but I don’t know. I am. I know I am. My hurt turns anger, then anger turns to bitterness.. then bitterness.. turns to loneliness. I’m lonely without you. I could be in a sea full of people and still feel so alone. Yeah, I’m going to sit here and complain. I love you.. Can’t you see? I’ve changed in a good way.. You just haven’t seen it yet. You only saw my appearance. I’m sorry that it’s not enough. I’m sorry that I’m not good enough. When you met me, I had no clue and no testimony. But now.. I have a clue and I have a testimony. I have a.. rock solid? No.. rocks can break. A steel testimony. Nothing and no one could ever break it. Don’t you want that? What do you want in a girl? Do you want her to be pretty, funny, and nice? I can be that. Or do you want her to be strong, beautiful and supportive? I can be that. Or would you rather her be clueless, blonde, and airheaded? I can be that too. I can be anything you want me to be.. But what I can’t be is the same girl you fell in love with two years ago. I’m not her. I don’t want to be her. She was sad.. depressed. Lonely. Suicidal. She didn’t have a clue in life and no testimony whatsoever. She didn’t know anything. She didn’t know anymore. But now. Now I’m stronger. I’m who I want to be.. I’m beautiful, I’m strong, and I have a sure fire testimony that I absolutely love. Baby.. look at me. Look at the new me. You’ll see that you absolutely love it.. I know you will. If you could only know what I’ve been through in the past two years.. You’d be proud of me. SO proud. Please see the new me.. Please accept it. I just need you to take a step back and get to know me. Maybe that’s what we’re supposed to be doing right now. All we need is communication so we can. You’ll love the new me.. I know it. I know it. I love the new you.. It’s just.. I feel like I don’t know you. You’ve changed. I know you’ve changed in a good way, but some of the things you’ve said to me.. I don’t know. You would have never said them before.. What changed? Baby, please tell me what changed.. I just miss you.. That’s all. I know we can work this out. I know it. We will talk again and work this out. I know it. I love you, baby.. Love doesn’t run.