Then ask me what it's like to have myself so figured out.

Wish I knew.

Favorite Brand New song. <3

Sometimes a line from a song can explain how you feel better than you're own words.

Life is harder than ever right now.

The only thing keeping me sane is music and books.

I want to pack up my bags, throw them in my car, and just drive. Far away.

Two to three panic attacks a day. Not fun.

Life gets better right?

Hopefully.

Dear life, where are you taking me?

 I want to know right now that I will be okay.

I need something.

I'm not quite sure what it is.

Something to give me a little nudge and lift me up a little bit.

I don't know what I am doing wrong, but I must have done something wrong to be feeling this crappy.

Maybe things are changing too fast.

Or maybe they aren't changing fast enough.

I don't know.

I have been trying to have a positive attitude towards everything but life has it's ways of bringing you so low. So low, you are completely numb.

After all of this you'd think that I would be stronger and feel more worth, but I don't.

Lately, I have felt so alone.

I have gotten this horrible new phobia. 

The fear of being alone.

As for now, i'll try to be patient and let life bring whatever it brings for me.

Someday I'll be stronger because of all this.

P.S.

Nick is getting a little bit better everyday.  He might get to come home this month. I am so excited!! Going out to the hospital everyday is so exhausting.