Thinking out loud.

I don't know how I feel,
maybe I'm mad,
or maybe I'm proud.
Can't find the truth,
can't speak my mind,
don't know what I say.
I'm just thinking out loud.



So, I should be writing a seven page English paper that is worth 30% of my grade, but what am I doing? Writing another pointless blog.
I know I write way too many depressing blogs but I find it to be self therapeutic. So I am not stopping. Plus, when I am happy I am usually busy which means I have no time to be online. I don't feel like I have a reason to express how I am feeling when I am happy because just smiling is good enough for me.

This last year has honestly been Hell for me. Life has never been harder. This is definitely my time of trial. Only a handful of people know what I have been through. Honestly, I don't know how I haven't completely lost it. I am getting close though. So much keeps happening and it seems like it is only going to get worse.


I truly am staying strong and trying my best.

Why can't good things last? Just for even a day or even a few hours.
 You think that things are going your way and everything will be okay and than BAM! a couple hours go by I do something to completely screw it up. That's just life I guess.



I almost made it a whole week without crying. ALMOST.







Jared leaves in 29 days. He is also going away for a little while so we only have a few more days left together. I am scared to death. It's what is supposed to happen though.

I have a job interview today. Wish me luck.