Now what?

This is going to be a long two years. I can't be in my room without crying. I can't listen to music anymore.  I can't eat at my favorite restaurant, Cafe Rio.  I can't eat candy. I can't even text.  It's so hard to drive on main street in Kaysville. I hate driving past that Jr. High in Layton. It's so hard to be in my car period. It's hard to be around certain people without bawling my eyes out. I tried longboarding. I saw missionaries walking the other day and smiled at first than started crying. I can't wear half of my clothes. I can always smell you for some odd reason. I can't stop shaking. Who am I going to give the cookie part of my oreo to? I can't sleep at night. Even though sleeping is all I want to do. I have had the worst constant headache. I miss those texts every morning I've gotten for two and a half years.  It's times like these when I wish you could hug me and tell me it's going to be okay.  Is this horrible feeling ever going to go away?

I miss you and it's only been a few days.
Only... 760 days left to go.
I feel like I might die.
This is the worst feeling in the world.
I have never felt so alone........
I need to feel compfoted.

This is going to be tough.
I am going to be living for letters.












Most of the things I said in this blog probably won't make much sense to anyone but me & Jared, but he won't be reading this for a few years...
Sorry, I might sound selfish.
I am just saying how I am feeling.
If I wasn't so sad I wouldn't be human.. right?
I dont' know what to do.